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Chapter 86
Part 2
Season of Winter, Week 2, Day 1
Dear Secret Journal,
Just as I've opened this new book for the very first time, let this mark the beginning of a new chapter in my life.
While it was easier than expected to find a blank new journal with a nice and shiny black binding (turns out the bank has entire shelves of these they use for recordkeeping), so much has happened in the past week that I just haven't had the chance to write anything yet. Now that I'm finally back to putting my claws to the paper, I find myself at a loss. Should I cover everything in a single day's entry? Where do I start? I suppose I could write fake entries for some of the past days, but somehow that doesn't feel genuine. And I've learned that sometimes it's surprisingly important for a Zoroark to be genuine, especially to themselves.
I want to remember everything. So let's see how far I get!
On the first day after my confrontation with Hunter, I told Tallie that Hunter now knew my secret. She agreed to let me stay back at the base to aid him in the absence of the team, the same job that Scarlet has lately been assigned. Since Hunter and Kerzek were my only companions for the day, that meant I could take a break from pretending to be on sentry duty and spend the whole day undisguised, which was incredibly liberating.
On the day after that, the first day of the first week of Winter, I lost track of time and I was very started when Char returned from his mission and came to my room, wanting to speak to me personally. I just barely got the Glower disguise back on in time.
"I know we haven't spoken much," said the Charmeleon kindly to me. "I guess I was curious about how you're feeling. Is everything going alright? Are you liking the team? Is the new room comfortable?"
"I am very adequate," I had replied. "Thank you."
It had always been my philosophy: the less I speak, the less I might misspeak. I made myself used to being short and curt with everyone, even though I've always been rather on the long-winded side when it comes to my journal entries.
But for some reason that day, Char wasn't having it. He wanted to know more about me as a teammate, which meant that I had to invent new things to tell him. And oh, how my blood pressure spiked! If I were a Charmeleon myself, my tail flame would have gone over my head the moment I realized Char wasn't going to leave until he was satisfied about getting to know me. And if there was one teammate I absolutely couldn't spill my secret to, it was Char. The boss. The one who not only makes all the decisions, but shares all his knowledge with a certain conniving Espeon whom I'm sure would jump at the opportunity to use me in a whole slew of new brilliant plans.
"I've been wondering a few things about you, if you don't mind me asking," Char continued. "To begin with, are you happy with the assignments you've been given lately? I know you say that sentry duty is your specialty. But don't you ever get bored?"
"No," I chirped.
"Are you sure?" he said, sounding so concerned. "I'm used to working with Otto, and he was the most patient bird I knew before I met you, but even he would get bored of sitting in a tree for eight hours a day and watching the scenery… I know he would do it if that's what the mission called for, but he wouldn't like it."
"I don't get bored," I said again.
"Well, let me put things another way," he said, leaning against the wall. "Where do you envision yourself going from here? Who exactly do you want to be, Glower? I don't just want to use your skills for my team's benefit and nothing else. I want to help you train to become the Pokémon you've always wanted to be. So… are there any particular types of missions you've always wanted to take? Or skills you've wanted to learn? I care about the hope and dreams of my teammates, and I'd be happy to take yours into consideration with the assignments you're given."
Of course, what I really wanted was to tell him I wanted to be a better spy and illusionist. But I couldn't tell him. I had to trust Hunter to help with that instead. And from the perspective of a Hoothoot, which I was really beginning to regret picking as an avatar, there weren't exactly any skills I could say that I desired. Flying? Battling? Anything which involved physical contact with another Pokémon? There was literally nothing I could tell him. From the perspective of a Zorua who had to play pretend, everything I could tell him was useless at best, meaningless danger at worst.
"If I think of something, I'll let you know," I told him.
Char was still visibly disappointed in my short responses. "Hmm… I suppose I could start with something simple," he considered. "Have you had any thoughts lately about… evolution?"
I figured this topic was harmless enough, since it didn't take much extra effort to pretend to be a Noctowl all the time instead of a Hoothoot. I've already been practicing it, too. "Yes, I plan to evolve," I told Char.
Char looked pleased about this. "Any reason you've not evolved already?" he wondered. "I can see your feral-shard is still on your shelf there."
Oops. This was a problem I didn't consider. I couldn't just say "because I don't want to evolve," right after I told him I wanted to evolve. I'd have to make up some reasonable excuse for not having evolved yet!
And I couldn't make up some excuse about waiting for the right time, either. Not when I made it clear that I only want to be a sentry. Because being a Noctowl would just make me a better sentry. Sharper eyesight, stronger tolerance to cold, more energy, no drawbacks whatsoever.
Oops. Oops. This was getting out of control. Once again, all it took was one simple mistake, something that seemed so innocent the moment I said it, for the conversation to spiral out of my control.
Should I have just told him I didn't want to evolve at all? But that would cast suspicion for the same reason. There's no reason for me not to evolve, if I just want to be a good sentry. No reason whatsoever.
Naturally, I latched onto the first good idea I had to get out of my predicament, only to realize the moment after I said it that I'd only dug myself deeper. "I have not evolved yet, because I am not strong enough to evolve," I told Char. "I have tried to use the feral-shard, but it has not worked."
"Oh! Well, that's something we can easily take care of!" Char said happily, clapping his claws together. "We'll need to get you some battle training, then. Just a little each day, that's all it would take. Unfortunately, the Dojo master isn't exactly available right now. But! I could arrange you some sparring sessions with some of your teammates. How does that sound?"
"N-n-no," I said, beginning to panic.
"No?" Char said in surprise. "Alright, well, how about… hmm. Ah, I'm sure I could get you some training sessions with Team Silverwing. Again, just a little every day is all it would take."
I'd have to visit Team Silverwing? Every day? No, no, no, no. No. It's not easy to get up there if you're not a bird. You have to beg for a ride. I couldn't play hooky because Char would just talk to Syr and Master Karow and he'd know I'm not attending. And even if I somehow did get up there every day, what would I even do? Spend the day pretending to train with the birds, and then still not be strong enough to evolve?
I shook my head. What was I supposed to say? I can't think that fast!
"No? You don't like that idea either?" Char said sourly, growing concerned. "Hmm. I'm beginning to worry about you, Glower. To be honest, you're starting to make me feel like you're hiding something."
Nooooo. This was sooo bad. How had such a simple conversation gotten so bad, so quickly?
I had to get out of here. I had to escape. That was the only way. I'd just find a different team to join.
But Char was guarding the door. If he tried to touch me, or tired to stop me from leaving in any way, it would all be over. He would know, which meant Eva would know, which meant that in a day or two, probably everyone in the base would know there's a Zorua wandering around, which meant that everyone would be looking for me, which meant that everyone would be suspicious of everyone else all the time…
Or… I could just give up. Give up, give in, accept the consequences. All of them. Out myself once and for all. Come whatever may. That was the only alternative to fighting forever. Because apparently, I was the worst Zorua in the world at pretending to be other Pokémon.
"Okay, fine. I am hiding something," I grumbled, dropping my disguise and collapsing to the floor in shame. "I'm… not a Hoothoot. I've never been one. I'm a Zorua. Okay? This is me. This is who I really am. I'm sorry I lied."
I looked up at Char, and he looked sadly down at me. I almost started to cry.
"Oh, Arcana," Char said. "You didn't have to give up that easily…"
"…Huh?" I said, blinking at him.
And I had to blink at him, because he was shining all over. And when he stopped shining, he showed me that I wasn't the only pretender in the room.
A much better pretender than I ever hoped to be. A Ditto. A pretender who could actually shapeshift, not just sculpt light into convincing shapes and hope nobody tried to touch them. A pretender who apparently only had to worry about laughing, not getting clipped in the tail by an attack they were too slow to dodge.
"Yeah, so, hi!" said the Ditto-turned-Mew who floated in front of me. "Hunter told me everything, basically. He wants to help train you in the arts of espionage. But he can't train your illusion powers. He said that since I'm the only other Pokémon in the base with any sort of experience with changing forms, I'd be perfect to help train you. And I think I'd have to agree. By the way, thank you! Before just a moment ago, I didn't have a Zorua transformation! Another new transformation, at last. It's been too long…"
Domo transformed into me, complete with my half-sad, half baffled expression. For a moment too long, I didn't even recognize myself.
"So… you knew," I said blankly to the other Zorua in the room. "You knew all along. You faked that whole conversation."
"Well… yes!" said Domo-Arcana, way too chipper to be me at the moment. "Seeing as though I'm supposed to teach you about pretending to be other Pokémon, that seemed like an appropriate way to start our lessons!"
"You said that I didn't have to give up too easily," I muttered, turning my gaze away. "So… what did you expect me to do? What else could I have said to Char?"
"Well, if it were me, maybe I would have said that I didn't want to evolve for sentimental reasons!" Domo replied in my voice. "That's all, really. Just 'yeah, I don't want to evolve yet, for sentimental reasons.' Char is a very nice Pokémon. I bet he wouldn't have even questioned it."
"That never would have flown by Tallie," I said bitterly.
"Yes, well, luckily for you, Char outranks Tallie," Domo returned.
I turned to look at the mirror of myself. "Do you even have time to train me? Aren't you busy pretending to be Scythe all the time? Aren't you exhausted from all the pretending?"
"Well… no! Not so much anymore!" Domo said happily, trying to make his good cheer rub off on me. "Turns out, the whole trick to it all along was just, well, letting Team Remorse in on the whole thing! You'd be amazed how much of a difference it makes when you have a family that you can just go home to at the end of the day who can give you a nice long break from all the pretending."
"Yeah, I think I'm starting to understand that," I said, pawing bashfully at the ground. Just having Kerzek was changing my life. I couldn't imagine having all of Team Ember to trust about it; if only I were able to tell ahead of time whether it would be worth it to take that risk. "So… what now?"
"Now, I think Hunter wants to have a little talk with us," he told me. "Kerzek already let me through the portal. So let's go, before Char really does come home."
Hunter, Domo, and I assembled for a little quick, secret meeting in the secret base, where he told me about his plan.
"For my plans to work, I need you to evolve," he outright told me, not even attempting to sugarcoat it. "This is for two reasons. First, you're still playing in the shallow end of the pool. Training your Zorua powers will mean nothing. What you need is to train your Zoroark powers. From what I there simply isn't a comparison."
"Uh… alright," I tentatively say. "And the other reason…?"
"The other reason is because I need you to have prehensile claws," he said. "Not paws. Not a muzzle. This won't work unless you have hands capable of clutching and carrying things. I'll explain more once we have this taken care of."
While I'm not completely against the idea of evolving so soon, there's something I need to confess to him. "I'll be honest, I've already tried," I tell them. "The feral-shard didn't do anything. I'm just not strong enough, I suppose. I guess we'll need to start beating one another up in sparring matches, or something?"
"No. Too slow," Hunter said with a dismissive little snarl. "I do believe there are far more efficient ways around the so-called level barrier. Domo, your thoughts?"
"Oh… oh yes, there are," Domo said mysteriously, bobbing around in the air. "Expensive. Very expensive. But there are."
"I believe money is not exactly an issue at the moment," Hunter said, pointedly peering over at the heaping pile of gold. "Take whatever you need. I trust that you can make a Zoroark out of this little vixen as soon as can be done."
"Oooh! I sure can!" Domo said with far too much enthusiasm. "Alright, little miss Arcana, I believe it's time for a bit of power-leveling."
"Power-leveling?" I said.
"Cheating. It's cheating," Domo laughed, hovering over to the gold and floating a big pile of coins into the air. "No two ways about it. Skipping the hard part of training altogether. It has its drawbacks that come back to bite you later, but since we just need to get you evolved, I think it's the most appropriate solution. Ah, here, I think that's enough. Actually, I'm not sure that's even enough. Ah. Anyway. Get a bag, and off to Kecleon we go."
Domo transformed into a Machamp, strong enough to heft a nice big bag of gold coins over his shoulder. Then, I made myself look just like him, and I followed him down to Kecleon's shop. We got there near the end of the midday lull, right before all the teams came back and wanted to get their useless junk sold for spare pocket money.
"Ahhh!" said the purple brother, currently running the front of the store. He eyed the huge bag, and somehow knew it was full of gold. Maybe he could smell it. "A good afternoon to the both of you! I see you have come prepared for some serious transactions? How might I be of service? Anything I can help you find?"
"Yes, in fact, there is," Domo said in the sinister deep voice of the Machamp. "We've come looking for… something magical."
Kecleon's scales flashed in surprised. He was instantly giving his full attention. "Magical, you say?" he repeated.
"Yes. Magical," Domo repeated. "And rare. Rare, and magical."
Kecleon looked like he had some kind of profound realization, and stared at the both of us in shock and awe for a moment. Then he stared at our bag of money, then back to us. "Why… yes. Right away, my good customers. Follow me, if you will."
We followed him into the back of the shop, a mysterious emporium that only the most privileged and wealthy of Pokémon ever get to witness. We passed so many rooms, each filled with so many shelves, each lined with so many piles of scraps and parts and broken merchandise, all smelling of riches and enchantments. He took us through two warehouse-sized rooms with huge, inexplicable items, conglomerations of machinery and metal and crystals, strewn across the floor and hanging from the ceiling. Ah! What an absolute empire! By the size and tidiness of the storefront, I'd never have guessed the Kecleon operation was so vast and unfathomable.
And it just kept going, this spectacular dragon's hoard stuffed into this hidden labyrinth of backrooms, until Kecleon took us down a deep, dark staircase. Somehow, despite everything I'd just witnessed, I started to feel a sense of dread. What could possibly be so valuable that it had to be so deeply hidden behind everything else? Was it a torture chamber? Were they going to strap me to a machine and force the strength into me through pain and torment? Were the Kecleon brothers actually terrible monsters all along and nobody knew?
At the bottom of the stairs, he took a minute to spin open a vault. Inside the vault… there was gold. So. Much. Gold…
But it wasn't actually gold, I realized. It was all kinds of things, all with the color and sheen of gold. Golden orbs, golden swords, golden crowns, everything golden. Honestly, more than a little hard on the eyes.
"Might I ask, how much of my rare magic were you looking to buy?" said Kecleon curiously, breaking the half-hour silence.
"Five. Five should be enough," said Domo. "How much would you charge for that?"
"Oh! I can make you a bulk offer, then!" said Kecleon kindly. "Assuming you're paying in gold, my offer is one hundred thousand."
"Oh. Really? That low?" Domo replied. "I was honestly expecting – "
"…Each," said Kecleon pointedly.
Domo was stunned for a moment, probably trying to keep from bursting into awkward laughter and breaking his transformation. "Each? Oh… blast, well, I suppose we really have no choice, do we, brother? Orders are orders…"
Kecleon burst into laughter first. "Oh, I'm just teasing," he laughed. "No, I'll give you all five for a hundred thousand. But let this be a lesson, if you're not already so wise: never tell a merchant they are undercharging you! They might just correct their mistake! And I wouldn't want you gettingyou're your money swindled away by some other merchant, when you could be giving it to me instead."
"Oh. Yes, of course, of course," said Domo with the fakest, most forced laugh I'd ever heard. "You've got a deal, my friend."
Then I got to see what this 'rare magic' was all about. It was a metal canister overflowing with seeds. Big, sparkly, golden seeds.
"What are these? Reviver seeds?" I wondered.
"Nope! Actually, better than reviver seeds!" Domo answered. "We just call these 'golden seeds.' A very long time ago, humans discovered these had a very particular effect on a Pokémon's aura. So what did they do? They ground them up into tiny little bits, mixed them with sucrose, molded them into tiny little shapes, and turned them into Pokémon food! And that Pokémon food became known as the 'rare candy.' But here, in its purest and original form, the seeds are much more potent. And you… are going to be eating five of them. Whole."
"Whole!?" I gasped. "But these things are bigger than my – "
"Bigger than your muscles? Yes, I know," said Domo quickly, reminding me that I was still in disguise. I sighed in relief, glaring at the huge glimmering things as we stuffed them into the money bag, after we'd let Kecleon withdraw his share of gold from there.
So we hauled the remaining money back up to the secret base, as well as the ridiculously expensive seeds, and before I know it I was sitting in front of these five things and just staring at them in dread.
"So what you're saying is that if I eat all five of these," I say to Domo, "then I can definitely evolve into a Zoroark?"
"I'd say there's about an eighty-four percent chance!" Domo said hopefully. "Got your feral-shard all ready?"
I looked over at the feral-shard I'd set next to me. It was so much smaller than any of these golden seeds.
What in the world was I doing?
"Well, might as well not waste any time!" Domo encouraged me. "Go on, start munching! You'll get a stomachache for sure, but you'll feel great as soon as soon as you evolve!"
"And what about the sixteen percent chance I don't evolve…?" I asked with a shudder.
"Oh! Um, well, that's what oran berries are for, isn't it?" he awkwardly giggled. "Go on, then! Best to get it over with!"
My stomach already hated me. These things looked, and felt like pieces of glass.
I cupped the first golden seed into my front paw and dragged it close. I leaned down to gnaw on the smaller end.
Yep. Glass. Solid glass. I shuddered as my fangs just slid right off its smooth surface.
"Um… did we get ripped off or something?" I asked. "I'm pretty sure these aren't even edible."
"Err, nope! That's just the way they are. Sorry!" Domo said. "Just… bite harder! Don't be afraid of breaking your teeth!"
"Don't be afraid of – what? WHY?" I shouted, growling at him.
"Oh! Because the evolution will heal you, of course! Teeth and all!" Domo said, somehow not so encouragingly.
So I tried again. I bit down on the smaller end of the seed, and between my paws and my teeth, I tried to pry the thing in half.
Something gave way, and I honestly wasn't sure if the shell of the seed had broken, or one of my teeth had shattered. Between one of those, something had definitely broken. I took the whole seed out of my mouth, and to my sweet relief I'd actually cracked into the hard shell. I kept chewing at it until it crumbled apart in my mouth, leaving the inner part of the seed which felt, and tasted, like thick putty.
It wasn't pretty, but I soon swallowed the whole thing down. I definitely wasn't looking forward to the next one, though.
I felt a weird headache. A weird surge of energy from nowhere. Sudden stamina and willpower, enough to kind of overcome the horrid taste and the semisolid substance now sloshing around in my stomach.
"I feel stronger," I told Domo. "That's what the seeds do? They make me stronger?"
"Yep! Make you go up five whole levels!" said Domo. "I don't really know what that means, exactly. It was the humans that invented the level system to measure Pokémon strength, and I'm not sure how it's really measured. All I know is that it's five times as potent as a rare candy!"
That was encouraging, sort of. I steeled myself with my new burst of strength and dug into the second seed. Unfortunately, this time I got overconfident and absolutely shattered my front fang. You know how horrible it is to crunch down on something, only to realize that you're eating pieces of your own teeth?
But hey, there was another big burst of strength for me as I forced the innards of that seed down my throat, gnawing it apart in pieces like a Skwovet carcass or something. The strength was enough to kill the pain of my toothache. I felt addicted to this power already. It was like invincibility, bubbling up from deep inside of me. So what if my stomach would bulge? So what if I broke my other teeth? I wanted that strength. I needed it more than I ever thought.
Then I got even more overconfident on the third seed, and I nearly outright choked to death on it. Got a glassy shard stuck sideways in my throat. Started hacking uncontrollably, coughing up blood. Went into shock and passed out before Domo could figure out what to even do with me.
And wouldn't you know it? I woke upon the floor only a few minutes later. As a Zoroark. I collapsed right onto my feral-shard and my final wish before passing out was that I could ever be strong enough to survive all the dumb mistakes I always made.
I woke with a gasp. I felt very awake, very alive. My breaths could go so deep. My lungs could hold so much air. I looked at my claws. Actual claws that could grab things and hold things.
I looked down at the two remaining golden seeds I hadn't even touched.
"Oh! Well, that works too!" Domo said in surprise. "You know how I told you there was an eighty-four percent chance you would evolve with five of them? Well, I guess what I neglected to tell you was that there were also chances you would evolve with less than five of them. It all depends on how strong you already were, which is not something I can easily tell. But hey! Congratulations! Welcome to your new, well-deserved body!"
"Heh, I…"
I held my breath and covered my muzzle. That voice that came out of my throat was so alien. How was I ever going to get used to it?
"Heh. Alright. Alright, so I did it," I said, testing my voice and flexing my new muscles. My head was heavier than expected to move around. So much hair… What was I supposed to do with them? Aren't Zoroark supposed to braid their hair or something? "This is… new. I like this already. I haven't even tried out my illusion powers and I like this already. Though… I can already tell I'm going to need practice. At just about everything. Ugh, the brain fog."
"Yeah. Brain fog, or… temporary cognitive imbalance, as some like to call it, is an unfortunate side effect of power-leveling," Domo said. "You sadly are going to need much more training to master this body. But that's for later. First we're going to start practicing with your illusion powers and learning how to be a spy!"
"Ah… Alright. What's the plan?" I croaked, trying to sit upright and finally finding balance in something that resembled my old four-legged way of sitting. "Hunter? What's the plan?"
"Ah. The plan. You're going to like this part, I think," Hunter said smugly. "The reason I needed you to have prehensile claws: I need you to pull off a stunt that I myself pulled off a month or so ago in my campaign to find Saura. When I did it then, it was not so difficult, since I had the alliance of the Master's forces at the time. Now, things aren't so convenient. Now I can't rely on the Master. I have to rely on you. I will need you to take a letter that you will help me write, and slip it into the mail circulation. It needs to get past all forms of surveillance, both from the Master and the resistance. The Master's regime reads the contents of every letter sent through their systems, and the resistance reads the contents of theirs. But my letter needs to be sent completely undetected. And the only way to do that is to physically enter one of the mail distribution centers and carry it past the surveillance stations yourself, and slip it into a parcel which has already been surveilled, one that happens to be going to the same location. Understood?"
"Yeah, I think so," I said, croaking out the sounds with my new voice. "But what part of this plan was I supposed to like, exactly?"
"Oh! That would be contents of the letter itself," Hunter explained. "Arcana, you are going to help me write a letter to your long-lost sisters at the Black Division. If we are fortunate, this will not only be beneficial to my hunt for Adron the Terrible… but it will also end with you reuniting with your sisters in person."
Author's Note:
Okay, so this one is going to have a part 3. But such is the price of weekly updates; sometimes I just need to pace myself!